Heavy Trigger Warning: Rape Story…
Cara and Jenny Dreadful mentioned a story. It’s very upsetting, and disgusting.
I’m not sure exactly what to say about a case like this. Of course, someone is going to say “Well, we don’t know what happened!” or they’re going to say “Maybe she did consent!” or something like that.
When I talk about enthusiastic consent, it’s because of cases like this. A gang rape of a 17 year old girl by a team of college athletes while she’s passing out and covered in vomit?
And it’s NOT GOING TO TRIAL?!
You’ve got witnesses! My gods! What the hell does it take?!
It’s disgusting.
It’s stories like this that send a strong message to women that it doesn’t matter if they’re raped. It’s stories like this that make women think that they won’t be believed, or that their attackers are just going to get away with it. Stories like this one, or the story about a barrister telling a jury that it couldn’t have been rape, because the victim was overweight and would have been “glad of the attention.”
Rape is one of those things that people like to say “Well, everyone knows that rape is wrong!” or “Nobody thinks rape is okay!” I’m sorry, but I just don’t know if that’s true. Cases like these make it pretty clear that at least some people have some fucked up views about rape. I think that one of the biggest problems is in how we even define rape. Maybe those guys don’t think they’re rapists. I’ve studies that show that there’s a disconnect between what the definition of rape is and what people self-define as rape. But you know what, if they don’t think they raped that girl, I’d love to know what they thought they were doing. If you’re taking turns having sex with a girl who is passed out in her own vomit, then, I’m sorry, you’re fucking rapists.
There’s a profound lack of respect for that girl as a human being that went on there. The attitude, I’d guess, was more along the lines of “She’s not saying no, so it’s not really rape… I’m just taking advantage of the situation” or some shit like that. You know what that’s called? Rape.
Of course, that assumes that they weren’t thinking “This girl is passed out, we can rape her and she won’t know it was us!” or something like that. What the fuck do I know?
I don’t know how to make it any clearer that cases like this are not okay. I don’t know how to change the attitudes of men like them, because I don’t know what kind of sick mentality you have to get in to think that’s okay. I do know that it’s got to happen. There are always going to be some sick fucks out there, but it’s up to us to stand up to them, not make apologies for them or excuse their behavior. I know that, in a way, this is probably singing to the choir, but, for gods’ sakes. How can you not be angry about a case like this?
May 24th, 2007 at 5:25 pm
Thank you, Roy.
May 24th, 2007 at 7:38 pm
You know I feel the same way you do.
And what irks me more is how much the larger media outlets have given air time to the Duke Lacrosse players and how they were almost but not actually brought to trial due to subjectivity of the DA. No mention of the many other cases that never make it to trial when a rape actually was committed.
It makes me so angry. It’s acceptable to send the message to girls that they are supposed to control what happens to them, but where is the criticism of what men can do to avoid being accused of rape. I think have bacchanalian festivity where you hire strippers, completely disrespect them and lob racial slurs their way in a manner threatening enough to result in a a 911 call…that’s gotta be way up there on the list.
May 24th, 2007 at 11:41 pm
Stuff like this is why I have a big fat crush on you. This needs to be said.
May 25th, 2007 at 4:11 pm
So, so sick. As though a drunk-enough-to-vomit, underage girl CAN give consent.
May 26th, 2007 at 3:09 am
Very sick. I also cannot fathom the mentality of men who justify this stuff as “not rape”. Perhaps it’s better that way.