Since I took a light-hearted stab at DC’s Mister Miracle yesterday, I think it’s only fair to turn my attention to Marvel today. Marvel has some pretty outrageous characters that I could pick on. I mean, seriously, Jack of Hearts? Ouch.
(I guess I’ve gotta respect that the guy takes the theme and runs with it, though- I mean, his costume matches his name. More than I can say about, I don’t know… Wolverine, for example.)

Yesterday I was feeling generous, and I think Mister Miracle is absolutely fantastic in his garishness. Today, though, I’m going to turn a serious eye on this most important of subjects. It’s with a heavy heart that I point out the horrible, horrible costume choices of Henry “Hank” McCoy- the lovable, blue-furred Beast.

Whoops.

Actually, that’s the good costume for our man Hank. It’s simple- basic trunks in black with a X-Men belt. It works well with the character- he’s a beast, and the basic trunks show off his ape-like body, the fur, and remind us that he’s kind of feral. He’s called the Beast for a reason, and a minimalist costume like that helps remind us why. It also follows the basic two-color and an accent rule- Black and yellow with the red buckle. It’s simple, but effective.  

The costume I’m critical of is his current look, in Astonishing X-Men.

 

Now, I’m not going to complain (much) about the move from traditional Ape/monster Beast to Cat Beast (which was, in a word, stupid), and I’m not going to weigh in (much) on the idea of a team wearing “uniforms” that aren’t… you know… uniform (again, stupid), I just want to talk about that costume as a costume.

Now, I get the idea they were going for when they designed this costume, sort of. The shape mimics an X, for X-Men. Clever. I’m not sure why Beast is the one member of the team whose costume has to resemble an X, but, whatever. It’s a neat design idea, so I give them credit for that. I like that it uses colors from the classic X-Men costumes- the yellow and blue/black (depending on artist) works well. The problem is… it’s ugly.

Worse, it’s stupid.

First of all, he’s wearing what appear to be clam-diggers or capri pants. I’m sorry, but no superhero should ever be caught dead wearing capri pants. Especially not a superhero named Beast. The Beast is supposed to be intimidating. He’s, you know… a beast for gods’ sakes. Monsters do not wear 3/4 length pants.

Having thought to himself “You know, I’m tired of wearing briefs all the time. I miss having my knees covered… I know, capri pants!“, Hank clearly thought, “I should cover up my torso a bit, as well.” That’s a fair thought. I mean, the X-Men, despite being ambasadors for mutant/human relations, aren’t exactly known for having a lot of down time. When you spend as much time getting shot at, punched, stabbed, blown up, burned, etc, as they do, it’s not a bad idea to have some protection.

Unfortunately, I fail to see how that… thing… provides Beast any real cover. I mean, how does that even work? It’s not a shirt, since it doesn’t cover his chest or go over his shoulders. It sort of rises up over his sides… and… nothing. I can’t even understand how that would stay up. And what’s the point, anyway? Why bother covering up the sides of your torso while leaving your belly button completely exposed?

Not a wise move, Hank. Not a wise move at all.

I’m also not a big fan of the gauntlets he’s sporting, there. I’m not sure why he’s even got them. They don’t seem like they’d be very comfortable, what with the shag fur and all.

Mostly, I just think that this is a weird, ugly outfit for the beast, and doesn’t really do anything to emphasize his abilities. It’s a messy, stupid looking costume. The earlier costumes emphasized his beast-like nature, which was great. If the choice was made to move away from that, and to try to emphasize how uncomfortable he is with that nature, and to maybe play up his intelligence, then give him a full costume.

It’s particularly unfortunate, because the rest of the team (minus Emma… ugh) have such sharp costumes. I mean, it’s hard to look at Kitty, Cyclops, and Wolverine standing there and not think “Wow… Beast looks so dumb, it’s not even funny.” Wolverine and Cyclops get nice modernizations of their classic looks. They’re clearly in costumes, but they’ve been updated for more modern sensibilities, and they look pretty sharp. Kitty is wearing a slightly tweaked version of the actual X-Men uniform, and it looks sharp. Beast could have gotten a variation on that theme, or a yellow and black version of one of his older costumes, and it would have been a vast improvement over that ridiculous eye-sore.

Shame, Beast.
Shame.

 

This entry was posted on Tuesday, May 1st, 2007 at 9:26 am and is filed under comics. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.