Curse those bastards at Apple! The new iPod touch commercial has literally infected my brain, and in no small part due to the addictively catchy song from yet another band we’ve never heard of, The Asteroids Galaxy Tour. Seriously, every time the commercial comes on (and because Apple clearly spends billions of dollars on advertising, it comes on A LOT) I find myself wanting to bust a move on the living room floor. It also makes me want to buy an iPod touch like nobody’s business, so clearly the advertising firm involved is earning its check. Check out the band’s website to hear the full song, plus a couple others. They don’t have an album out yet, but (NATURALLY) you can download this and a few other singles off of iTunes.

So, I have been totally pleasantly suprised by ABC’s new show “Miss Guided.” Its funny, kinda smart, and they just totally spoofed the “escape” scene from The Breakfast Club.

Nice.

So we’re off! The new television season is well underway, and we’ve gotten a feel for the competitors as they take the field. 79soul is here to give you a quick rundown of the good, the bad, and the downright fugly.

The Freshman Class

In case you hadn’t noticed, there’s no dearth of new shows this fall…there are so many new shows, in fact, one can’t help but stop and wonder what they’re all replacing. Which is really just an indication of how bad some of last season’s shows were.

Among the notable offerings are Fox’s K-Ville, Kitchen Nightmares, and Back to You; NBC’s Chuck, Bionic Woman, Journeyman, and Life; ABC’s Pushing Daisies; CW’s Reaper; and CBS’ Big Bang Theory and Kid Nation.

Now, I am but one man, and I have interests beyond television (although you wouldn’t know it sometimes) so there’s no way I could possibly watch all of these. But I have seen at least single episodes of most. Here are my thoughts, in small, easy to digest bites. Because, really, you should stop spending so much time reading and watch more television.

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1. Why do I love crime drama so much? I’ve gone several years without watching tv regularly. I’d guess, if you did a weekly average of my tv watching for the last two years, and excluded dvd and video games, you’d find that I spend less than hour a week watching tv. Now that I live with someone who has cable, I find myself compelled to watch CSI and Law and Order. I’m limiting myself to one episode a day from now on.

2. If I see one more commercial for Dr Steve-o’s manly show, I’m going to puke. He’s not manly you morons, he’s psychotic. I know that a lot of people don’t see a difference, but it’s there.

3. There is, in fact, a Hendrix song in the first guitar hero.

4. If you’re trying to reduce the liquid content of your chili, it’s important not to forget that you’re doing so. Otherwise your chili turns into sludge. And nobody wants that.

I’ve been letting Roy have all the fun with “List Day,” but today I decided I’d throw my hat in the ring too. So, here is my attempt at a Friday list.

Random 10:

1. Spoon, “Metal Detector”
2. Gnarls Barkley, “Smiley Faces”
3. Death From Above 1979, “Black History Month”
4. Regina Spektor, “Apres Moi”
5. the Annuals, “Complete or Completing”
6. The Good, the Bad and the Queen, “History Song”
7. Rogue Wave, “Bird on a Wire”
9. New Pornographers, “Electric Version”
10. Arcade Fire, “Intervention”

5 Books (Off the Top of My Head) I Would Recommend to an Acquaintance

1. “Sex, Drugs and Cocoa Puffs” by Chuck Klosterman
2. “American Gods” by Neil Gaiman
3. “The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Klay” by Michael Chabon
4. “Bluebeard” by Kurt Vonnegut
5. “You Shall Know Our Velocity” by Dave Eggers

5 TV Commercials that Make Me Cringe

1. Valtrex, “I have herpes, but she doesn’t…”
2. The toilet paper commercials where the cartoon bears literally shit in the woods
3. The Wendy’s commercial that uses the Violent Femmes’ “Blister in the Sun” as a soundtrack
4. Commercial for a specific brand of birth control that tries to convince women to use it instead because it a) makes your period last less than a day, and b) clears up acne
5. The Mac commercial where the PC gets a webcam installed (thats more bitter than cringe, really).

I don’t mind telling you, I spent waaay more time than I should have reading through this list of video game tropes.

 There is also a section devoted to telelvision tropes and comic book tropes. You know, if that’s your thing. I was actually surprised to find a few tropes that I hadn’t really thought of, until they were pointed out.

At which point they seemed really obvious.

This is an intense week, so that’s it, folks. I might squeeze another video game post in by Thursday, and, of course, there’s list day. Which I know all of you care so much about. I can feel you all holding your breath.

In the meantime, I’m out!

Here’s the latest installment on CNN about the “Boston Bomb Scare.”

I couldn’t agree more with Roy (below). I’ve been reading various reports and watching CNN clips about it, and I can’t believe the shit the Massachussetts and Boston politicians are spewing. By jumping at every unexpected surprise and arresting two street artists for “shutting down the city,” they’re pretty much feeding into exactly what terrorists are trying to achieve in the first place. As my fiance and I are fond of saying when Fox News comes on, “SOCIETY OF FEAR!”

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Well, it looks like I’m late to the party, since JimmyCav (see below) already beat me to the story, but the more I read the responses, the more annoyed I find myself.

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http://www.cnn.com/2007/US/01/31/boston.bombscare/index.html

This is the most bizarre instance of life imitating art I’ve ever seen. The Mooninites, yes, those Mooninites, have taken their hatred for all things Earth, transubstantiated into reality, and spent the day terrorizing Boston.

Really, are any of us surprised? Personally, I always knew Ignignokt and Err were jihadist radicals. Just read this vile, hate filled interchange between them:

Ignignokt: Our god is a god of vengeance. A god of hate.
Err: A god of action!
Ignignokt: Our god is an Indian who can turn into a wolf and-
Err: Dude, that’s Wolfen.
Ignignokt: Yes, well Wolfen will come after you, with his razor.

If this doesn’t convince you that the Mooninites are out of control Islamicists, who hate America for its freedom and are hellbent on destroying it, then I don’t know what will.

Ever since I read “MTIV: Process, Inspiration and Practice for the New Media Designer” by Hillman Curtis, I’ve been more aware of and impressed by well-done title and credit sequences in movies and TV shows. There’s something to be said about sitting in a theater, the lights dimming, and being treated to a short film that segueways smoothly into the main event. It feels like a suprisingly great warm-up band at a concert you’ve been anticipating for weeks.

Within the last several years there has been a real resurgence in treating these bookends to a film or television show as a work of art in and of themselves. Specific examples that come to mind include “Napoleon Dynamite,” “SLC Punk,” “Catch Me if You Can,” “A Series of Unfortunate Events,” “Cowboy Bebop,” “Medium,” and “Spider-Man 2,” to name a few.

It would appear that I am not alone in my admiration.

Submarinechannel.com recently launched a new site called “Forget the Film, Watch the Titles,” an online museum for compelling, funny, and imaginative title and credit sequences. Check it out when you have a few spare minutes. The collection of clips is small as of now, but they intend to keep adding to it. Highlights so far are “Thank You for Smoking,” “Kiss Kiss bang Bang,” “Trailer Park Unicorn,” “Nanny McPhee,” and the forthcoming “Smokin’ Aces.” Really cool stuff.